September 12, 2004
Exhaling Steam
You inspired me into oblivion,
ether in nostrils & sulfur in my eyes,
my messiah of two white lines inhaled
in the fast lane & the smell of your knuckles:
I breathe in, trying a dignified walk.
Streetlights rape darkness in my path,
tear through the virginity of solitude
with soiled imitation of warmth.
I crucify them on long posts
& shut them down when something stronger
comes along.
You murdered me on cobblestones,
paint-spilled where I’d portrayed grief
& scribbled tears on crumpled napkins,
then tore & chewed up the words.
This world, it laughed at me:
through foamy teeth it licked my throat
with that threatening, throbbing tongue
that would burn on skin.
Transportation status: damaged goods.
You suffocated me in red
- slash - the lines I drew crossed through.
I take the addictions & half a creed,
the lack of gravity & an unfinished flight,
I take your naked back, teeth in my shoulder,
bite marks battling the void.
I exhale a city of casual wannabes
& burgundy crosses on the chests of élite,
blow coloured steam into
expectant observing eyes, stuck
between the drumming of misused waiting veins
& knowing my salvation is fake.
But oh, what a taste it has for the thirsty
with a way out of concrete hypocrisy.
And I run.
I am camouflage impersonated.
But the real power is underneath:
beneath the melted asphalt
where worms sing earth songs
caving upward trails, trapped
beneath:
with nothing more to lose
& nothing else to win
so I run.